Teamwork

Life, as it turns out, is much easier when you have someone you can look to for comfort or help. Of course, you always have your family that will be there for you but the difference between family helping you and a significant other helping you is that your significant other (ideally) would be there whilst experiencing the difficulties in life. Your family keeps their distance, probably something they learned to do when you went off to college, but they will always be there waiting for you post-tragedy to be your shoulder to cry on. 

Being with Ryan, I realize more and more that he is the perfect one for me. He is the yin to my yang, the sugar to my cookie, the "yes" to my "no", the hand that fits mine perfectly. We are, unbelievably so, a great team. We are both known for our heated tempers but to be quite honest with you.... we have changed dramatically. Ryan learned to be calm and rational on his own (pre-relationship) but I needed him to help me through my own anger management issues. He's so patient and so composed when we need to "talk", it's very helpful. At first, I was irritated by his cool disposition especially when I thought I was going to shoot out of the ground like the coyote with an ACME rocket strapped to his back. I would blow up and start raising my voice (let's be honest.... yelling) because I was angry about something and he would just let me yell and he would just listen. Then he would calmly respond and magically cure everything! He's been able to help me through my outbursts to the point where I am now the calm, cool and collected type that rationally thinks through things before I say them (who would've thought??). He's made me a better person just by being willing and able to talk to me and to make sure we solve each issue before we brush it off and move forward. 

I often think it would be best if I take my irritability and anger elsewhere (to my room) and marinate in my thoughts by myself so no one else would be bothered by them. As most psychologists will tell you, it's not healthy to become a recluse when you have issues. Is Ryan a psychologist? I ask this because this is exactly what he told me. Then he said something that made me think... this could be forever. He said, "I want you to talk to me. I want you to be able to tell me whatever's on your mind. I want to know what you're thinking and I want to help you through whatever is bothering you. I should be the one you turn to when you feel like this so you can let me help you get out of it." Right at that instant, I fell in love with him all over again. He WANTS me to talk about my feelings? He wants me to complain to him when I am having conflicting thoughts? How rare is that! You always hear about these guys that don't want to hear the "drama" and don't want you to complain all the time. Not Ryan, Ryan wants to know what it is that makes me feel that way so he can take the steps (if he can) to correct it. Amazing.

Now, we all know that people who have "anger management" problems and "learn to control it" often have to let it out somewhere else. Anger doesn't just disappear. This is where I come to the rescue! Ryan is so composed all the time and he goes to the gym just about every day but I know that there will be times when he just can't handle it anymore (by no fault of my own, mind you) and in one swift strike of the arm he slams his hand on the window control panel of his truck because the back window wasn't rolling down. Boom! The control panel falls out of its respective holes and drops into the door. I can feel the anger bubbling inside of him as he tries to pull it back up again. I tell him that he won't be able to fix it when he's angry and that we should go up to the apartment and relax for a minute and try again later. He waits all of 2 seconds from the time we entered the apartment to grab a screwdriver and head back down to the truck. He comes back up 10 minutes later completely irritated and says, "I think I should wait 'til I'm not angry to try again." Smart man (wink). I offered to go to the 7-11 down the street to grab a handful of goodies (I have a major sweet tooth) and his sweet-self let me take his truck. As a gift to him, I sat in the parking lot for an additional 5 minutes pulling the control panel back up. FIXED! I'm the handiest girlfriend to have! haha!

Another example was his toilet paper wall fixture in the bathroom. (I guessed on the name of that thing. From now on I will call it the "holder". He must have leaned on it or something because one half of the holder fell out of the wall leaving behind a giant, gaping hole where the fixture was screwed into the wall. Without actually having the time to stop and focus on it, we resorted to having the toilet paper roll sit on the back of the toilet or on the ground next to it (both are HUGE pet-peeves of mine). I need my toilet paper to be readily and easily accessible! Anyway, every time he went to the bathroom I would hear a scratching noise and a little banging. To no one's surprise, every time Ryan would go to the bathroom he would try to put it back in place, unsuccessfully. I promised him I would fix it for him but he seemed doubtful. I still don't think he knows how handy I could be. Boom! FIXED!

It's the little things here and there that we do that balance the other. When he's angry, I'm calm. When I'm angry, he's calm. When he breaks something, I fix it (and hopefully vice versa in the years to come. haha!). We make a good team. We are very similar but yet so different. It just works!!